Living in South Africa

South Africa truly is a strange country. It is like someone who has cancer - there are parts of your body that is critically ill, and effects the whole body. Some days the pain is gone, you feel great, and people around you regard you as a happy, healthy person. Other days the racking pain folds you in half, and you can hardly move, nevermind projecting a picture of health. And this is largely the result of mistakes of our past. Through these mistakes most of the cultural and racial groups in South Africa have a simmering distrust of the others, ready to fling allegations and insults at a moment's notice, relying on generally misguided perceptions to guide their abuse. According to the most general perceptions, all whites are racist, all blacks are murderers, thieves and disturbers of the pease, all Indians are crooks and all 'Coloureds' are drunks and drug addicts. So we deal with each other with carefully disguised contempt, ready to explode the moment the other person do not fit into our perception of the world, ready to say 'Typical, what do you expect from a white/black/Indian/Coloured?' So the recipe to fit into this country, is learning how to act like all of the cultures. For a white person there is nothing better than a 'person of colour' that speak fluent afrikaans or english, like rugby, and act like a white person. The same with black people, liking white and Coloured people who speak their language, like their music and support a South African soccer team. There is no place for someone who is not like you. This is the rainbow nation. This is the country who is the world's example of forgiving and moving on. The bleak picture I've painted is obviously a generalisation, and I know that there are communities where things are not as severe, but as a rule we are a bunch of quarreling children that live together because we have to. From time to time it does happen that we come a bit closer, like when our sports teams do well, but this usually doesn't last very long. A week or so at the most. How is one supposed to live in a society like this?

As I've mentioned before, I am a white, Afrikaans South African male. This makes me somewhat of a persona non grata in South Africa. The typical way South African whites get by, is to keep to themselves, wail about the crime and wondering why everyone else just can't forget all that horrible Apartheid stuff. It's in the past, isn't it? But it doesn't exactly work that way. That monumental mistake still burns us every day and will be a very heavy load to bear for a very long time. In fact, it has unfortunately become a very effective way to keep us from saying anything against the way things are going in this country. Calling a white person a racist is close to a sure-fire way to shut him or her up. I resent this. Why should I have to contend with all this crap because of other people's narrow-mindedness? And the problem is, that it's not only external, but internal as well. Try as I may, when interacting with people of other races, the perceptions that I have mentioned earlier just take over my views. When a black person walks past my house, my default reaction is suspicion. I can't help it. It is a constant internal struggle that I am fighting to not judge a person on appearances, but rather on merit. All because of the world I didn't create, but in which I was raised.



I often wish that I was already living about 50 years in the future, when (hopefully) the differences between cultures in South Africa have sufficiently blurred and there is more acceptance for others. I can already see this developing, when observing small children playing together and enjoying each others's company, not caring about the colour of the other one's skin. Hopefully when these children are adults and have children of their own, the healing of this country will really happen. But until that day, we will have to hold our breath, hope that our prejudices do not carry over to our children, and pray that we don't kill each other before the country is truly healed.

In the beginning...

So, this is the start.

For a while now I have been contemplating to create this blog, as I feel that the world is currently such a confusing place that I need to write down my understanding of it bit by bit in an attempt to understand it, and to under- stand my place in it. By explicitly stating my understanding of the world, together with the insights to be gained from others that read these writings/ rantings, I hope to come to a more clear realisation of what the role is that I should play in the world.

This will also be my first attempt at blogging in general. As someone who is passionate about technology, one whould assume that I would have gotten on the blogging-wagon a long time ago. For some or other reason I have taken quite easily to most other social media technologies like Facebook, Twitter, etc. but never to the blogging-thing. So here goes...

...but first I suppose an introduction is in order.

I am part of (I would image) the least loved minority group in South African society (for those of you who do not know, South Africa is at the bottom end of the African continent, the home of Nelson Mandela and Caster Semenya (*wow*, some extremes :-)) - the white, Afrikaans male. A few decades ago, and with vastly different political views, I might have been the typical "face" of the Apartheid regime. But, back then I was barely lucid - being born in 1979, I was a child during the '80s and only realy became aware of the concept of racial inequality sometime during the '90s. So I am living a a world where I face a lot of underlying resentment and contempt because of the sins of my fathers. This I find unfair (and as my blog entries progress, it will come apparent how livid I can become at unfairness in general).


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Furthermore, I believe in God as my Creator and Jesus Christ as the Saviour of my soul. I also believe that God's Holy Spirit has been placed in me to guide me in living according to His will and to do good to others. I deliberately did not say that I am a Christian, because of the warped view that exists of the Christian faith, and the erroneous assumption that Christians always live holy lives. In this view I might be seen as a 'flawed Christian' or a 'doubtful believer' - I do make mistakes and accept that others make mistakes. Maybe the focus must rather lay in how we react on those mistakes than on the mistakes themselves. But this is discussion for another time. For now, I will leave it at saying that I try to be very slow to judge and to not try and to not portray a 'holier-than-thou' image of myself.

I work in the technology sector of the healthcare industry. By training I am an engineer, so I am very focused on processes, problem solving and putting structures in place that is sustainable (both in my professional and personal life). This is not always constructive, and on numerous occations I have found that being a 'family engineer' is much more challenging than being a 'business engineer' as family life can't necessarily be engineered. That said, I can state that I have been more-or-less happily married for almost five years (which is quite an accomplishment in this era of quick-divorces), and we currently only have a Scottish terrier as the rest of our family. I enjoy watching most types of movies and sport, listening to most types of music and reading. I furthermore like cycling, and playing computer games, although I am actually facinated by anything technological.

And that is my introduction. In the following posts I will comment (or rant) about things that I see, hear, or happen to me. I do not swear and are against sexual explicitness, but where required (and if I am upset enough :-)), it might happen.

Let's see where this goes...