Holiday 'by the sea' (sic)

As mentioned in my previous post, we are vacationing at Margate, which is located in the Kwazulu-Natal province on the east coast of South Africa. I live in the south-western part of our country, where the seawater is cold, where you get a lot of wine, wheat and shrubbery as the typical plant life, coloured people, wet (and snowy) winters, and blistering hot summers. I've been living there for most of my life (19 of my 32 years). So Kwazulu-Natal is a bit of a culture (and geographical) shock to me. Here you have warm seawater (warm enough for year-round swimming), bananas, sugar plantations and lush, tropical foliage, Zulus (black people), and a year round temperate climate. A veritable paradise. Sure, its got its problems (high unemployment, crime, and the highest HIV/AIDS ratio in the country, but what a place. No wonder its the holiday destination that it is.

Elections, racism. etc.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. On 18 May we again had nationwide municipal elections. Some wards changed hands, but in general the status quo was maintained. But in general it doesn't feel that people's perceptions are keeping up with the times. At the moment I am at a holiday resort in Margate on the east coast of South Africa, a well known holiday destination for the (predominantly) white portion of the inhabitants of the northern parts of our country. Maybe its because I come from the south, where racial groups are (a bit) more tolerant of each other, but it feels to me that, when you walk in the street here, there is a quiet contempt between black and white here, and that people do their best to look past each other. It feels like the whites still cling to their 'good old days' of white racial supremacy (and still using terms like 'kaffer' (black), 'koolie' (indian) and 'hotnot' (coloured)), and that the blacks still do their utmost best to try and disrupt the whites' comfortable lives through arrogance, feigned stupidity, or simply preventing things from happening (quickly and/or efficiently). Listen, I understand that these things take a long time to change (look at America where racism, especially in the south, still exists, hundreds of years after the abolition of slavery), but it would have been nice to see more obvious signs of people's will to change and accepting a better way of things. I suppose I won't see significant change in my lifetime. Which makes this time I'm living in an uncomfortable time, where no one is really sure what the proper way is to act, where 'political correctness' is the best plan we could come up with, and where far-left and far-right political figures still manage to upset the rest of the population from time to time. But I expect things will improve, so for now I think we should do the best we can, and 'do unto others as we want them to do unto us'.

Stop, think, act. Please.

"Father, forgive me: it has been 138 days since my last confession/blog post." Hehe, yes. Since my last post Christmas has passed, 2010 has started, and progressed well into May without a blog post forthcoming. This laxness shall have to addressed if there is to be any meaningful progression in my considerations of life, the universe, and everything.

Recently I have started wondering why people tend to act based on their instincts, rather than stopping and thinking what the best (i.e. most beneficial) course of action will be in a certain situation. Its as if logical thinking has been thrown out of the window in favour of instinctive reaction. Don't get me wrong, instinctive reaction is very important (I mean, if it wasn't for instinctive reaction, a person would not be able to get him/herself out of dangerous situations and the human race as a species would not have been able to survive as long as it had). It is just that, for most part, instinctive reaction isn't very well suited in allowing a person to improve the situation in which he/she finds him/herself. If humans had relied solely on instinctive reaction from the beginning, there would have been a lot of us at this stage (i.e. survival), but all of us will still be living in the trees (i.e. no progression or evolution (if you support the idea, but this is inconsequential to my argument)).

To me however, the problem in this "modern" world we live in isn't the actual act of thinking with your gut instead of with your head, but rather the consequences of doing so. This becomes very apparent when one witnesses a restaurant patron shouting at a waiter because the kitchen got the order wrong, or when a shop assistant is verbally abused by a customer because the shop's tills are all off-line due to a technical problem.



Why does it so often feel to me that I am the only person in these situations that see past the problem symptoms, and understand that in a lot of cases the cause of a problem lies somewhere removed from the poor soul standing in front of you, being just as frustrated as you are, but having to weather the storm being directed at him.

Maybe it’s just because I'm an engineer and that I have training in doing this, but my default reaction when faced with some or other adverse event is to (calmly) look past the symptoms, identify the source of the problem, and try to address/correct it. Not to get all emotional about the symptoms, and expecting the universe to correct the injustice it has supposedly done me. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe people are so self-centered that they expect the world to conform to their whims, and when it doesn't, there's hell to pay. Talk about spoilt brat syndrome. What typically works for me is thinking about my existence as follows: The universe doesn't owe me a thing. Therefore it won't change ITS course just to make MY life go smoother. Bad things will happen to me. That's just the way it works. And it won't help throwing a tantrum when things go wrong. Just deal with it. Stop, think, and get yourSELF out of the hole. And don't blame others for your misfortune when its clearly not their fault. Let's be smart about this people, come on!

Believing in Christmas

It is that time of year again. Christmas in the Cape. The time when people (that is the locals and visiting masses from across the country, and even the world) fork out copious amounts of money (that they may or may not have) to spend on food, gifts and other pleasures, in order to keep with the so-called Christmas spirit. What is that exactly? Is it just a time which serves as a justification for bouts of gluttony, sloth, greed and envy? Is this so-called 'spirit' just a notion invented, warped and encouraged by commerce in order to grow their money coffers? Or do people really take this time to rejoice in the greatest Gift given to mankind? Do people really celebrate the reason for Chistmas, or do they only celebrate the tradition of Christmas?

At a few occasions over the years I have asked why one should have a Christmas tree and presents over Christmas time, and have in most cases been severely rebuked for having such wonderings. "We're doing it for the children. Isn't it nice to see them so excited?" is something I have heard a few times when bringing up this topic. In a way, I feel this is a very sick way of thinking. It seems to me that parents need to see their children get happy and excited about something, and therefore tempts them with material things in order to achieve this. This creates an unhealthy expectation with the kids, who expect bigger and better presents every year, necessitating the parents to buy more expensive gifts every year in order to keep the children excited and happy. To me, this sounds very much like the vicious circle one associates with drug addiction. But who are the addicts? The parents or the children? Are the children’s so-called happiness only the parents’ fix? And where does Jesus feature in all of this? Did he come to earth for parents to feel good about themselves because they can bribe their children towards excitement with material things? Did we ever need Jesus for Christmas (I am sure we could have invented it all by ourselves)?

Contrary to how it must seem when one considers what I have written thus far in this post and on this blog in general, I am not a cynical person. I just notice things, and wonder why humanity reacts in the way that it does. Sometimes, when I observe humanity (or the ‘mob’) and see the things it does, I wonder how it is possible that, after so many millennia of development, we really can’t do better than we are currently doing. I am not saying that I know best and are better than my fellow earthlings, but sometimes the general theme of ‘being’ human’ seems to me a bit...shallow.

As I have mentioned in my first post, I believe in God as my Creator and Jesus Christ as the Saviour of my soul. I believe that Christmas is the celebration of the day (whenever it was, there will always be debate about such issues) that Jesus was born as a human being on earth in order to (through His death) provide me with the choice to do good to others, and be at peace with who I am. I feel that all people are inherently good, and that, when this is not apparent, circumstances cause/have caused them to forget this. That is why God has also given us, together with Jesus Christ, his Holy Spirit to remind us who we are, and that there always exists a better way of living through which we can achieve real peace and happiness. This however does not result in my life being easier than those of people who do not believe. Every day, no matter how hard I try to do the right thing, I still make mistakes. But it does take care of the guilt. I know that, when I have made a mistake and have sincerely asked His forgiveness, He will forgive me, meaning I can forgive myself and be free to try and do it right the next time. In the end, this is more of a present than any physical gift could ever be.

Finally, getting back to the Christmas conundrum, I must confess I currently struggle to see how Christmas can be wrested way from the clutches of selfishness. This problem currently is entrenched on a societal level, which (seemingly) makes changing things very hard. But I also feel radical changes can be sparked off when, at the right time and the right place, an opportunity arises and the right person is there to light the fuse. And if I am to be such a person, I can only pray that I will be vigilant enough to see the opportunity and be brave enough to take the necessary step.

But until then I will keep observing, questioning and contemplating...

Living in South Africa

South Africa truly is a strange country. It is like someone who has cancer - there are parts of your body that is critically ill, and effects the whole body. Some days the pain is gone, you feel great, and people around you regard you as a happy, healthy person. Other days the racking pain folds you in half, and you can hardly move, nevermind projecting a picture of health. And this is largely the result of mistakes of our past. Through these mistakes most of the cultural and racial groups in South Africa have a simmering distrust of the others, ready to fling allegations and insults at a moment's notice, relying on generally misguided perceptions to guide their abuse. According to the most general perceptions, all whites are racist, all blacks are murderers, thieves and disturbers of the pease, all Indians are crooks and all 'Coloureds' are drunks and drug addicts. So we deal with each other with carefully disguised contempt, ready to explode the moment the other person do not fit into our perception of the world, ready to say 'Typical, what do you expect from a white/black/Indian/Coloured?' So the recipe to fit into this country, is learning how to act like all of the cultures. For a white person there is nothing better than a 'person of colour' that speak fluent afrikaans or english, like rugby, and act like a white person. The same with black people, liking white and Coloured people who speak their language, like their music and support a South African soccer team. There is no place for someone who is not like you. This is the rainbow nation. This is the country who is the world's example of forgiving and moving on. The bleak picture I've painted is obviously a generalisation, and I know that there are communities where things are not as severe, but as a rule we are a bunch of quarreling children that live together because we have to. From time to time it does happen that we come a bit closer, like when our sports teams do well, but this usually doesn't last very long. A week or so at the most. How is one supposed to live in a society like this?

As I've mentioned before, I am a white, Afrikaans South African male. This makes me somewhat of a persona non grata in South Africa. The typical way South African whites get by, is to keep to themselves, wail about the crime and wondering why everyone else just can't forget all that horrible Apartheid stuff. It's in the past, isn't it? But it doesn't exactly work that way. That monumental mistake still burns us every day and will be a very heavy load to bear for a very long time. In fact, it has unfortunately become a very effective way to keep us from saying anything against the way things are going in this country. Calling a white person a racist is close to a sure-fire way to shut him or her up. I resent this. Why should I have to contend with all this crap because of other people's narrow-mindedness? And the problem is, that it's not only external, but internal as well. Try as I may, when interacting with people of other races, the perceptions that I have mentioned earlier just take over my views. When a black person walks past my house, my default reaction is suspicion. I can't help it. It is a constant internal struggle that I am fighting to not judge a person on appearances, but rather on merit. All because of the world I didn't create, but in which I was raised.



I often wish that I was already living about 50 years in the future, when (hopefully) the differences between cultures in South Africa have sufficiently blurred and there is more acceptance for others. I can already see this developing, when observing small children playing together and enjoying each others's company, not caring about the colour of the other one's skin. Hopefully when these children are adults and have children of their own, the healing of this country will really happen. But until that day, we will have to hold our breath, hope that our prejudices do not carry over to our children, and pray that we don't kill each other before the country is truly healed.

In the beginning...

So, this is the start.

For a while now I have been contemplating to create this blog, as I feel that the world is currently such a confusing place that I need to write down my understanding of it bit by bit in an attempt to understand it, and to under- stand my place in it. By explicitly stating my understanding of the world, together with the insights to be gained from others that read these writings/ rantings, I hope to come to a more clear realisation of what the role is that I should play in the world.

This will also be my first attempt at blogging in general. As someone who is passionate about technology, one whould assume that I would have gotten on the blogging-wagon a long time ago. For some or other reason I have taken quite easily to most other social media technologies like Facebook, Twitter, etc. but never to the blogging-thing. So here goes...

...but first I suppose an introduction is in order.

I am part of (I would image) the least loved minority group in South African society (for those of you who do not know, South Africa is at the bottom end of the African continent, the home of Nelson Mandela and Caster Semenya (*wow*, some extremes :-)) - the white, Afrikaans male. A few decades ago, and with vastly different political views, I might have been the typical "face" of the Apartheid regime. But, back then I was barely lucid - being born in 1979, I was a child during the '80s and only realy became aware of the concept of racial inequality sometime during the '90s. So I am living a a world where I face a lot of underlying resentment and contempt because of the sins of my fathers. This I find unfair (and as my blog entries progress, it will come apparent how livid I can become at unfairness in general).


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Furthermore, I believe in God as my Creator and Jesus Christ as the Saviour of my soul. I also believe that God's Holy Spirit has been placed in me to guide me in living according to His will and to do good to others. I deliberately did not say that I am a Christian, because of the warped view that exists of the Christian faith, and the erroneous assumption that Christians always live holy lives. In this view I might be seen as a 'flawed Christian' or a 'doubtful believer' - I do make mistakes and accept that others make mistakes. Maybe the focus must rather lay in how we react on those mistakes than on the mistakes themselves. But this is discussion for another time. For now, I will leave it at saying that I try to be very slow to judge and to not try and to not portray a 'holier-than-thou' image of myself.

I work in the technology sector of the healthcare industry. By training I am an engineer, so I am very focused on processes, problem solving and putting structures in place that is sustainable (both in my professional and personal life). This is not always constructive, and on numerous occations I have found that being a 'family engineer' is much more challenging than being a 'business engineer' as family life can't necessarily be engineered. That said, I can state that I have been more-or-less happily married for almost five years (which is quite an accomplishment in this era of quick-divorces), and we currently only have a Scottish terrier as the rest of our family. I enjoy watching most types of movies and sport, listening to most types of music and reading. I furthermore like cycling, and playing computer games, although I am actually facinated by anything technological.

And that is my introduction. In the following posts I will comment (or rant) about things that I see, hear, or happen to me. I do not swear and are against sexual explicitness, but where required (and if I am upset enough :-)), it might happen.

Let's see where this goes...